It was Delilah the Douleur Against the World

This is going to be a "creative writing" type post, and I'm not really sure how it's going to go. It's just past midnight, and I'm kind of afraid of how this post is going to turn out, but in a good way, if that makes sense? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the kind of day where everything just seems off. Nothing is particularly or noticeably wrong or incorrect, there's just an atmosphere of discomfort. Delilah wanted desperately to stay home, just for today, because the sickness in the pit of her stomach tugged at her with such a force that it refused to be ignored. It was a normal symptom of her lifestyle, but it was one that was understandably least comfortable. The nausea was constant, with only brief moments of relief when she talked to a client, right before she had to do her job. Well, job isn't exactly the right word for it, because job implies that she can quit. Duty, maybe? No, because duty also implies an air of choice. Obligation would be the way to describe the task that Delilah and a few others have to do whenever they are needed.

"Ms. Rutherford?" a light voice chimed. "There's been another accident. You're needed at New Haven Hospital immediately."

"How many?" she grunted.

"I'm sorry?"

"How many families are there?" she sighed impatiently. 

"Just one today, ma'am." 

Delilah arrived at the hospital, her hands stuffed in her jacket pockets and her hood covering her long, dark hair.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you here to see a patient?" a nurse in scrubs covered in ducks asked in an irritated tone.

Delilah looked straight at the nurse with cold brown eyes that pierced through her soul. 

Taken aback, the nurse replied, "Oh, you must be the Douleur. Delilah is it? Delilah the Douleur, I wonder if your parents knew your fate and named you that on purpose, hm?" she let out a forced laugh. "I'll show you to the family now. Their daughter just passed away after being hit by a truck. She was supposed to start middle school in a week. She was home-schooled all her life. A tragic story, really."

They walked down the busy hospital corridor and found the parents of the young girl sitting in the waiting room, distraught and sobbing incessantly. Delilah pulled down her hood and tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear. She approached the couple with such a sense of indifference in her gait that gave her an air of confidence she didn't have. She sat down next to the woman with long, dark red hair and gentle blue eyes. Her face was flush from crying, and her make up was running, leaving black stains on her plump cheeks in the mascara's wake. It reminded Delilah of the watercolor painting she was working on in class before she was destined to be a Douleur. Before she understood why her stomach always ached. Before she understood why people seemed to feel comfortable about talking to her about their problems. Before, when she was happy and was capable of feeling an emotion other than happy's ugly counterpart.

"P-please," the woman with the red hair gasped through her sobs, "please make the p-pain st- stop. I can't live this way!"

Delilah placed her hand on the woman's wrist, and found her pulse. Closing her eyes, she could feel the woman's heart palpitations, and it slightly annoyed her. 

"Why won't she calm down?" she thought, "it's so much easier when there's a steady heart rate." 

But Delilah pressed on, knowing that there was no way to calm this woman down. After a moment, Delilah could feel the ache in her own heart, and the tears began to swell in her eyes. She could feel the woman's heart rate slowing as her pain escaped her body and released itself into Delilah. The pain flooded into Delilah's bloodstream and throughout her entire body within minutes. She jumped up as the overwhelming loss of something she didn't have filled her body. The nauseous feeling in her stomach intensified as she attempted to calm herself down, which was to no avail. She cringed and fell over; her body was limp and shaking. 

Everyone around her pretended not to notice. 

What seemed like an eternity later, Delilah gained enough strength to pull herself from the ground and get herself together.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, ma'am. Your daughter was an angel who will be greatly missed." she said, her voice hoarse.

"Thank you very much, Delilah. You don't know what you have done for me." the woman with the red hair said lightly. 

Her eyes were no longer bloodshot, her skin was a normal, peachy tone; she almost seemed to radiate with happiness. Her wife who sat beside her, on the other hand, was still reeling from the loss of her daughter. Her green eyes bore into Delilah, begging her to touch her so she could feel better like her wife did.

"Am I next?" she asked.

"Oh, of course," Delilah replied, placing her hand on the green-eyed woman's wrist.

And the pain began again, and Delilah wondered if the pain would truly ever end.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay that's it :) I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I've been thinking about writing this story for a while actually, but I never took the time to write it. I plan on writing a book based on this story of Delilah the Douleur, because I have a ton of ideas on how to develop Delilah and the society itself and everything. I just have to find the time. Tell me what you think!! 

Freebie (but read this post anyway because it's still amazing)

First, let me pull a Margaret and give you link to something I'd rather be watching/listening to:

Like, I don't even watch Steven Universe but this calms me down when I'm feeling anxious 10/10 would recommend like please listen to this seriously.

Sorry, but I'm going to opt out of this post because we only have one more and the next one will probs be more beneficial anyway. <<<<How I talked myself out of doing this post.

But hey, here's a fun fact about Mr. Whitman that Sam told me the other day: He was gay or at least not heterosexual and that just makes me appreciate him a lot more because apparently most of his hate was because of critics were calling him out about his sexuality, and Whitman was a voice for the oppressed etc.

Awesome right???

Apparently y'all talked about this in class, but alas, I was at the international festival so I missed it.

Thanks for reading, please enjoy Thomas Sanders, as we all should because he is literally a gift from God.
kthxbi

The American Dream or The American Nightmare?

How would you describe the “American Dream?”
The American Dream is an almost unattainable concept that was created to instill optimism in the hearts of pessimistic Americans. The dream can be achieved by not only having a 4 bedroom home with a white picket fence, a dog, 2.5 children, a husband with a steady job and a wife that is completely content with succumbing to the restricting gender roles of being a house wife, but by also being happy and economically sound. This is what I was taught to strive for when I was in elementary school. I needed to find a husband with a great job, maybe a doctor or a lawyer, and we would live in a huge house that I would clean from top to bottom while simultaneously taking care of our children. But, like all things, the concept of the American Dream has changed over time. I would say that the American Dream now is to just be economically sound and happy. It has become less of a materialistic thing and more of an emotional standing point, at least in my opinion. After 2008, the dream had to change inevitably, because who could keep their dog when they couldn't even keep their house? Who would want to have that other .5 of a child when Suzy is about to go to college and her fund is all tapped out? Who would take care of that new baby when mommy had to find a job? As the social and economic climate of America changes, the American Dream has new bars set.

What is your definition of wealth?
My definition of wealth is having a plethora of all the things that you need and some of the things that you don't. Wealth obviously isn't limited by the definition of having a ton of money, and it never should be. Having wealth is having a lot of things to be happy about; having wealth is being able to provide for yourself and your loved ones without being strained financially or emotionally.

What are Americans’ attitudes toward wealth and poverty? What is your attitude toward wealth and poverty?
These two words are often used to describe someone, and less as nouns. Americans view being "wealthy" as being synonymous with successful and powerful, while they view "poverty" as being the same as uneducated and burdens on society. These two terms seem to be on opposite sides of the spectrum by the American definition, while in reality, they can be intertwined in several ways. It is known that many things in our society are not black and white; most things like gender and sexuality, fall in a spectrum instead of being this or that and nothing else. But, in our society, we tend to think of everything having an opposite, wealth and poverty being one. In my opinion, an impoverished person can still have wealth, can still be educated, and can still be successful in their own ways. A wealthy person can still be impoverished, can still fail, and can still be uneducated. The definitions of these two terms are loose and should be treated as such. Unfortunately, in America, we tend to look at things one way, and it limits our society's progression.
I believe that everyone has wealth in some aspects of their life, and in other aspects they are impoverished. It is definitely extremely difficult to reach the status of American defined wealth, yet extremely easy to be seen as impoverished.

We need commas because "I like cooking, dogs, and kids" is not the same as "I like cooking dogs and kids."

How does the word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift in each affect meaning?  

The diction in each of these translations only differ slightly, but the connotations of the words make a big difference. For example, the choice of using insect, bug, or vermin gives very different images in the readers mind. Using the term insect is more detached and professional almost, while the term bug makes it seem cute or tiny, but worst case, annoying. The term bug is used so much as an insult that it doesn't give the same strong effect of negativity as the term vermin. Another example of varied diction is the use of the terms uneasy, troubled, and agitated when describing his dreams. Uneasy is not as strong a word as agitated because when something is uneasy it is seen as being uncomfortable while agitated is equated with being bothered. Troubled sleep is more like having nightmares, which affects sleep, but not in the way that the terms uneasy and agitated affect sleep. Basically, troubled more describes how he slept while the other two describe why his sleep wasn't of quality. For syntax, it is important to note that Gregor is the subject and is mentioned first in most of the translations except for one of them. In the fourth translation, the importance is not on Gregor, but on the morning. The fourth translation overall is the most differed in syntax and punctuation, and the effect of this is that it gives the most negative and connotation of the sentence because it uses strong negative words and the way you read it, you are introduced to the agitated dreams before you know who owns the dreams.

Is one more effective than another? Why?

I don't think that one is more effective than the other. I think that the fact that the text can be translated into so many different ways makes each translation weaker because you aren't sure which one is more exact. The exact translation (from google translate) is translation four. We, as students, are told that google translate is extremely unreliable, and from that I would assume that the fourth translation is the worst/weakest. Each translation is unique, and there is no way to tell which one is the most effective without being fluent in both English and German and knowing what the author wanted to say. 

What does this exercise bring up about the difficulty of reading translated texts? 

This exercises shows that since texts can be translated in so many different ways and interpreted in different ways, there is no way to completely understand the authors intentions. It also brings up the problem of misinterpretation within translating; if we can translate it so many ways, who knows which translation could be blatantly wrong/inaccurate?

How do different translations effect the tone of the sentence?

#1:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

The tone of this translation is matter-of-fact or indifferent. This sentence is more or less listing what has happened to Gregor without going into flowery detail.

#2:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

The tone of this translation is ominous or disturbed. This is because of the syntax; since the uneasy dreams came before one morning, it brings in a creepy tone.

#3:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

The tone of this translation is grave or hollow. This sentence seems as though Gregor awoke with something as a result of his dreams.

#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

The tone of this translation is horrific or disturbed. Because the reader doesn't know who the subject is, it gives this initial ambiguity, and the words monstrous vermin give such a negative connotation, it makes the tone horrific.

Overall, the tone varies greatly based on the diction and syntax because in English we have so many words that vary slightly in definition and give different connotations that can change the way a sentence is interpreted. 

IOC or not to IOC...I Wish I Could Choose the Latter

I'm a little computer incompetent for things that aren't related to Microsoft, so I just put my IOC on my google drive and hopefully you'll have access to it because here's the link: Shaunaci's IOC (just download it and it should work...I promise it's not a virus.) I also shared it with you, Mrs. Genesky. I can also share it with you, random person reading this, but you have to shed your anonymity and ask for it first.

My passage was from Never Let Me Go

Here's my beautiful planning:

Literally I always love my planning. I think I'm a pretty adequate planner, I just tend to not articulate my amazing ideas well. I am in no way an expert on the IOC, but I found it helpful when I was planning to use the numbering system, and then over to the side write out the themes for those numbers, so that way when I am jumbling my words and completely forget what I'm talking about, at least I can refer back to the main concept I was trying to get across. I don't know, it seemed to help me, so maybe it'll help you, too, anonymous reader.

A: 7 I think I did a really good job about referencing back the text to support my argument and using explicit examples to show what I needed to get across.

B: 4 I didn't talk a lot about specific literary devices in the text to help support my claims

C: 3 I think that it is apparent that I tried to organize, and I didn't jump around, but I don't think that my organization flowed very well.

D: 2 I say "um" a lot and I take extremely long, awkward pauses. It was kind of uncomfortable.

It Gets Better. It Gets Way Better. -Trevor Project

"Break the silence for suicide attempt survivors"
https://www.ted.com/talks/jd_schramm

In this TED Talk, JD Schramm tells a story of a man named John who seems to have it all, but because of his addiction and depression, he tries to kill himself by jumping off of the Manhattan Bridge. He was rescued by the Coast Guard, and went through a difficult recovery once he realized the dearth of resources available to him as a suicide attempt survivor. Schramm reveals at the end that he is John. Schramm gives heart wrenching statistics about suicide attempt survivors who feel even more isolated after recovery, and succeed in committing suicide the next time. He ends the talk with a plea to the audience to ask for help if they or someone they know is contemplating suicide or has attempted suicide.

Schramm separates himself from the story in the beginning and reveals the truth at the end. This adds ethos to his argument because the audience realizes that the experiences are first-hand, and not a story of a person he knows. One might argue, though, that this deceit makes Schramm less credible. But this can be disputed by the fact that primary sources are seen as more reliable and the fact that this is his personal experience, it keeps his credibility. He uses pathos throughout the story as a whole because the audience immediately feels sorry for John who is going through a lot of emotional turmoil. By talking about his internal struggles and the injuries he suffered after the attempt, Schramm appeals the emotions of the audience not only to keep their attention but to create a connection between the audience and John, which is an effective strategy for his argument. Schramm's logos has bias because it his own personal experience, but it can still be seen as reliable because he uses statistics that include him as well as other people. For example, he says that 19 out of 20 who attempt suicide fail, and this statistic includes him. He also mentions the fact that those 19 people are 37 times more likely to succeed the second time, and this statistic does not include him because he does not attempt suicide again (or, at least he doesn't mention it). This statistic strengthens his overall argument that suicide attempt survivors are extremely at risk for committing suicide and need easy access to resources.

I don't know about you (Mrs. Genesky/anyone reading this), but when I was in middle school, a lot of people were struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts, including myself. I found myself trying to help other people when I could barely help myself most of the time. I talked more people out of giving up than I care to say, and I completely agree with the fact that these survivors need more access to resources. There are a plethora of hot lines, but they're all to talk you down. In my experience, it's not very often that when a person is suicidal, they can think clear enough to call a hot line. I have just been lucky enough to be talking to someone at the right time in order to calm them down. Nothing makes you feel more alone than when you've woken up after trying to commit suicide, and everyone avoids the discussion. Of course, it's really awkward, I get it, the person literally tried to kill themselves. It's scary. But why do you think they tried to do that in the first place? Isolation after a suicide attempt can be detrimental; if you find yourself in the situation where you're talking to someone about their suicide attempt, try to be patient. Remind them that things will get better, even though that's, like, the last thing they want to hear. I don't know, but whenever I think about the fact that science exists (ex. gravity) whether you believe it exists or not, it reminds me that happiness exists, whether you believe it exists or not. It's really basic, and it won't work for anyone, (obviously) but it's the same concept. Anyway, this relates to the concept of Alienation that we will be discussing next unit because it discusses isolation and the estrangement that people who attempt suicide feel before and after the attempt. Although the situation is different in Never Let Me Go, Kathy H. is alienated from the rest of the world, like a person who attempts suicide. This is only slightly different because Kathy H. doesn't feel alienated while a person who attempts suicide does. Dual nature is a concept that we talked about last unit that shows up in Jekyll and Hyde as well as this topic. Jekyll and a person contemplating suicide both face internal battles, and sometimes the negative side wins (in Jekyll and Hyde it would be Hyde, while in this topic, it would be the suicide attempt). It is a constant struggle that causes people in both situations (Jekyll and Hyde and the person contemplating suicide) to feel like they can't talk to anyone for various reasons, and causes them to shut themselves off from the rest of the world when they should be seeking help. 

Straight Down the Line...How Could I have Known that Murder Could Sometimes Smell like Honeysuckle?

 3.   Double Indemnity has been called “a film without a single trace of pity or love.” Do you agree with this statement? Think about the motivations that lie behind the actions of Walter Neff and Phyllis Dietrichson when you consider your response.

No, I do not agree with this statement. Although Phyllis Dietrichson does not love the oh-so-smooth Walter Neff, I don't doubt for a second that Mr. Neff loved Mrs. Dietrichson. Phyllis had hidden motivations from the beginning; she used Walter as a way to get away with killing her husband. She even says that she doesn't love Walter right before he shoots her to death. Phyllis only loved money and was willing to kill her husband and Walter and anyone else who would potentially get in her way. Phyllis Dietrichson was not a being capable of love, which is why I understand why someone would call this movie "a film without a single trace of pity or love." If you only look at it as a movie about a money-hungry woman, you would be correct. But as a person who personally swooned over Mr. Neff, you may see this movie in a different light.

Walter Neff could have stopped at any moment before he said "straight down the line." Even after that, I think, at any point he could have backed out before killing Mr. Dietrichson. He stayed because he loved Phyllis more than he could comprehend. Everything he did, he did for Phyllis. He lied and deceived several people in order to do the deed Phyllis asked-- not once in the movie do they talk about splitting the cash, only being together. In the end, all Walter wanted was to be with Phyllis and make her happy.He pitied her, and fell in love with her easily. I see this movie as one filled with desire, lust, and most of all, love. Walter's only motivation was to be with Phyllis and free her from her "horrible husband."